Directed by Trey Parker
Written by Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Pam Brady
jh: 
…
I don’t have any weapons mass destruction, ok Hans?
Then let me look around so I can ease UN’s collective mind.
Hans, you are breaking my balls here, Hans, you are breaking my balls!
I am sorry but the UN must be firm with you! Let me see your whole palace or else …
Or else what?
Or else we will be very, very angry with you. And we will write you a letter telling you how angry we are.
…
I hurt people. I am a dick.
Oh, being a dick isn’t so bad. There are three kinds of people. Dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get alone. And dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you get your assholes, Chuck! And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn’t fuck the assholes you know what you get? You get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit.
…
We are here to usher in a new era without violence. By following the rules of the Film Actors Guild the world can become a better place that handles dangerous people with talk and reasoning. That is the FAG way. One day you will look at the world that us actors created and say: "Wow, good going FAG! You really made the world a better place, didn’t you FAG?"
…
